I was reading the book '8 Rules of Love' by Jay Shetty, where he mentioned that your soulmate will accept you for who you are. I found myself grappling with this statement. I underlined this line and started contemplating it.

Today, I am a fit and confident person, but five years ago, that wasn't the case. I was overweight and lacked self-confidence. So, I have a bit of an issue with the idea of "This is who I am." After undergoing a transformation, I sometimes feel that "This is who I am" is used as an excuse by others who avoid taking steps to improve themselves.

But then, who am I to judge if someone is content with who they are? I realized that I changed because I was utterly unhappy, and that prompted me to cross my action threshold, leading to this transformation.

So, who am I?

Am I the overweight person I used to be?
Am I the shy boy I once was?
Am I the fit individual I've become?
Am I the confident person who won the Mr. Farewell Title?
Am I defined by my achievements?

Exploring this topic further, I discovered that people often say we are defined by our values, not our achievements.

Okay, I am a kind, respectful, and trustworthy person. That makes sense; I have embodied these values throughout my life.

But then I ask again: Is a person who behaves badly just inherently bad, or is it because their environment shaped them that way?

My mother instilled these values in me, which is perhaps why I exhibit these "good" qualities. But what if someone chooses to change?

What if someone was taught not to smoke but now they do?
What if they were respectful when they were young but aren't now?
People may evolve into different individuals based on their environment and experiences.

I consider myself fortunate. Most likely, you do too. We have access to the internet, something not everyone has. We were dealt various unique cards, as Game Theory suggests. You can either complain about your hand or make the best of it. Someone, despite being dealt a worse hand, managed to succeed.

So, who am I?

Who should my soulmate accept?

I'm posing this question because I struggle with accepting my younger self. Even now, I realize I'm pretty awesome, but I believe I'll be even better next year.

So, how can I answer the question of who I am in a way that remains true today and tomorrow?

After much contemplation, I've reached the following conclusion:

"You are who you choose to be and the actions you are willing to take."

You are not solely a product of your environment; you are not just shy, confident, rich, poor, good, bad, weak, or strong. You are who you aspire to become and the efforts you are willing to invest.

I believe this comes closest to an answer, but I'm still questioning this notion because that's what thinking is all about: debating your own thoughts from various perspectives in your own head.

So, let's keep thinking. In the meantime, I'll strive to discover who I am and find a soulmate who will accept me for whoever I choose to be.

—CGR